#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

20moonchild21 · 4 years ago

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𝗦𝗲𝗵𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵𝘁 [𝗯𝘁𝘀]

⇉ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 3

[Pairing]

Jungkook x female!oc, bunny!JK x human!oc

[Warnings]

mentiones of abuse, abuse, traumatized JK, humiliating, breakdowns, past sexual harassment, mentiones of violence, violence

[Words]

4.6k

[author]

Here is the next chapter. I really hope you like it. It is so fun writing new chapters and creating a new story.

Check out my recommendation below this chapter! My personal favorite is Inferiority Complex by @starlightauroras-writes. It‘s well written and so exciting to read. Make sure to leave her a lot of likes and comments! She deserves it so much!

Also, leave a like or comment, if you like this story. This makes me happy!

Stay safe and healthy!

Mꨄ

[chapter 2 ||| chapter 4]

It had been six days, since the girl had found him inside the dark alley way. Six days since she had taken him in with her, and six days since his world had been turned upside down.

Everything he had ever learned in his life, from which he thought they were right and normal, suddenly seemed to be so wrong and cruel. He wasn’t stupid. Of course, in his past he also had wondered if there was a life for him, in which could just be him.

Bred in a laboratory near Seoul, the capital of South Korea, he was soon adopted by a rich couple from New York who were looking for a rare bunny Hybrid. His younger him was so excited to finally be adopted and have a family, instead of some scary people in white coats.

God, had he been wrong.

He was nothing more than a pet for their pleasure. In every way.

A shiver ran down his spine, when he thought about the times the man had run his hands over his sensitive ears, pressing and twisting them. Or when his hands had gone down over his back and into his pants, so he could pull the soft fur of the boy’s fluffy tail. Sometimes, his hands had gone even further down, pinching or slapping his butt cheeks.

The boy felt his cheeks redden at this memory.

At first, he had thought it was an accident. He had made sure to leave some space between the man and him, or wriggle himself out of the man’s grip. Little had he known that he had made things worse by that.

He had gotten many punishments. Some of them were okay for him. They would made him clean the house or the laundry, and sometimes they had would lock him up in the small chamber next to kitchen without some food or drinks for several hours.

This had been some of the harmless punishments.

If he had been really bad, they would made him take of all his clothes, serving either them or their friends as they were over. Other days, they would punched him with this heavy belt or with a bat.

His eyes swelled with tears at this memories. He had always thought that he deserved all of this. He thought it was normal for Hybrids to be subordinated to human. He thought that every time he got a punishment, it had been his fault because he was such a bad Hybrid.

How could he had been so wrong?

Since the girl had taken him in with her, there had been no point where he had felt the urged to hide himself from her. Not even when he accidently dropped the whole package of flour over himself and the floor, while trying to put it up into the top shelf.

The kitchen had stayed silence for a few seconds, before she broke out into the most beautiful laugher he had ever heard. It was not played or evil or meant to hurt him. It was a real, clear laugher, about a funny situation.

He felt himself warming more and more up with every day, getting more and more comfortable while being around the human girl. He also loved the apartment she lived in.

It definitely wasn’t as big as the former house he had lived in. The apartment was small, but he loved anything about it. He loved the soft sofa that was placed in the middle of the living room that was so soft and warms with all its cushions and blankets to wrap oneself in.

He loved the small kitchen that would send out the mouth-watering smell of food every evening.

He loved the white hallway with the photo framed wall that he loved to look at when he was bored, because every time he discovered a new detail of them. Like two day ago, when he looked at the picture of Hope and the older women and suddenly realized that they actually have exactly the same smile.

He loved his own room with the big, soft bed in the middle, on which he loved to lay and read a book when Hope was busy. He had often wondered when she knocked on the door, but she had told him that this room was his private territory, and no one was allowed to enter if he didn’t want to.

Together, him and Hope even had created some kind of a daily routine.

In the mornings after he would wake up around 7.30 am. he would wait for Hope to be done showering. When she was done, she would leave the bathroom for him to go his routine, while starting to prepare the breakfast.

In the bathroom, he would take a quick shower, brush his teeth and hair and change into some new clothes.

Then, he and Hope had some breakfast together, before they both made the dished and he helped her to clean the table. After the dishes were done, Hope would sit down on the same kitchen table, writing something into her laptop, which she said was very important for her university graduation.

He often was a little bit sad that they couldn’t talk to each other while she was working on her essay, but he still tried to be as quiet as possible.

He then would either try to read one of the books standing in her bookshelf, try to sleep or he would watch some TV with the minimum of volume. But yesterday, he had found something more interesting to occupy himself with.

In the corner of the living room, he had spotted Hope’s old guitar. He was so curious that he had carefully asked her about it, and she immediately showed him how to use it. She said that she hadn’t played it in years, because she was too busy with university. But when she had pulled some strings of the wooden instrument, she created such a beautiful melody and Jungkook thought that it sounded absolutely amazing.

She even said, that him practicing the guitar, would not be bothering her while she wrote her terms. So, he tried to play the instrument while she worked. She had showed him how to google for tutorials on YouTube. At first, he was sceptical when the human in the TV screen began to talk to him, but soon, he had realized that he wasn’t actually talking to him, but for everyone who clicked on the video.

Sometimes, he would catch himself how he watched the girl working at the table. He would just stare at how she cringed her nose while her fingers slide over the keyboard, how she chewed on her lips as she read through the thick book, or how her tongue would stick out of her mouth when she was concentration really hard.

Beside the wife of his owner, he had never seen a human girl before. He only had seen some visitors of his owner, with all their make-up, pushed up breasts, heavy perfume and fake laughers. He never had thought at one of them to be beautiful, but Hope was.

He found out that she actually was a year younger than him, but her personality seemed to be much older than his. She never wore too revealing clothes or heavy make-up, nor did she ever covered her scent with perfume.

When he noticed how creepy he would stare at her, deeply absorbed in his thoughts, he would turn his attention back to whatever he had been doing before spacing out.

Once she would be done, usually around noon, they would both go into the kitchen and bake a cake together, that would be eaten in the afternoon. While waiting for the cake to be done in the oven, they would sit on the soft couch and talk about random things.

Jungkook had to admit that talking to the girl was one of his favourite things to do each day. Not only because she was a really funny person, or because her voice was so smooth and soft, but also because she actually talked and listened to him.

In the beginning, he sometimes had hesitated, not wanting to speak too much. But by now, he wasn’t afraid of talking too much and being punished for it. He just could talk as much as he wanted without being stopped.

Hope had told him some stories from her childhood and live. He listened to every detail carefully, wanting to give her the same attention she giving him all the time. She would tell him stories about different items in the house, and she even explained him the photos on the wall next to his room when he had asked about them.

Now he knew that the older women was her mom, who had sadly died a few year ago during a car accident. He felt sorry for her when he saw a tear leaving her eye and for a short moment, he had thought about hugging her. But only for a second. The pain and fear were still bounded too deep onto his bones.

The younger people next to her were her best friend from High School. He didn’t miss the sad tone, as she told him that they hadn’t had talked recently, because every one of them was busy with university and their own lives.

She had also told him about her college life. From what she told him, he assumed that she must be really smart.

But he was even more amazed when she told him about her future plans. Hope wanted to be a lawyer for Hybrid rights, because she thought that they deserve more rights than they have now. She thought that they should be equal to human and that she wanted to give them a voice by standing up for their rights.

He couldn’t believe that she actually was fighting for Hybrids to have all the same rights than human have.

He imagined himself and how he would leave the house to go to work every morning, like every human did each day. He imagines himself and how he would go shopping all by himself, or how he would just walk around the park whenever he wanted to. It must be great to fell that free.

When they would be done eating their cake in the afternoon, Hope would always clean up the apartment a little bit. She said that she didn’t want the house to be sterile, but she wanted it to be tidy. She would use the vacuum to clean up the floor in every room, while Jungkook cleaned up the kitchen from when they had baked.

In the evenings, they would both prepare their diner, before eating it together, making the dishes and watch some more TV, until they both were tired. They would brush their teeth again, before changing into a pair of pyjamas and then go to sleep.

“Jungkoooook! Can you come here for a second, pleeeaaaasee!”

The Hybrid’s ears shot up high in the ear when he heard the girl’s voice coming from the living room. He quickly closed the book he was reading on his bed and laid it onto his nightstand. Slowly and a little bit scared that he had done something wrong, he walked out of his room. He carefully peeked his head around the corner, looking into the living room.

“Hey Jungkook.” The girl waved at him when she saw him standing in the hallway.

The boy gulped. Hope didn’t look mad or angry, so he assumed that he didn’t do anything wrong. Rather than mad, she looked really excited and happy as she made her way over to the couch where the boy suddenly spotted something big.

He curiously made a step further into the living room, slowly making his way up towards her. His mind was filled with questions when he saw the girl walking up to the big, brown box next to the sofa. It was much higher than the small girl, almost his hight, and printed with many different signs and…warnings?

Don’t shake. Caution, heavy package! Lift with care.

“Don’t look so scared, Jungkook.” The girl smiled at him when she saw how he hesitated to come near her. “I have a surprise for you.”

He watched as she pulled a small pocket knife out of the pocket of her jeans. She stepped closer to the package and quickly slide the sharp blade of the knife over the plastic strings that were wrapped around the big box.

“A Surprise?” He whispered in disbelieve. “For me?”

“Yes, for you, silly.” She smiled again, as she cut the last string, leaving only the tape wrapped around the box. “Now come over here. I need your help with this.”

He made two big steps until he had reached the girl and the package. Hope was already pulling at the tape trying to rip it off. He lifted his arms up to the top of the box, pulling the tape that was placed there.

His mind was still filled with questions. Never in his life had someone bought him a present, not even on his birthday. He wondered why she had decided to buy him something this big and heavy, after all, she already shared her apartment with him, and this was more than he could ever ask for. He wondered what was hiding inside the brown cardboard, but he knew that whatever it was, he would love it.

He ripped the last piece of tape off, throwing it onto the pile on the ground. The girl was already holding her knife, slicing open the brown cardboard of the box. When she was done, she laid the piece of metal onto the dining table, before turning around. Her eyes were flickering between the Hybrid and the still closed package.

“Come on. It’s for you.” She said after a few seconds of silence. “Open it.”

He was still looking at the girl with wide eyes, before he snapped out of his trance, and just pulled the brown cardboard away carefully.

He gasped and took a step back. Now standing in the middle of the living room, was a big, red sack. It was round and about his height, with a big metal chain on the top, along with some red, big gloves. He didn’t know what this was supposed to be. Never in his life had he seen something strange like this.

“Do you like it?” The girl squeaked excitedly while jumping up and down.

Did he like it? He didn’t even know what this things was used for. What was he supposed to answer? She looked so excited and happy, and the last things he wanted was to hurt her feelings.

“I – ehm…” He hesitated for a moment. “I like it?”

His answer sounded more like a question, and the girl didn’t miss that.

“You don’t know what this is, do you?” She pulled her left eyebrow up, while she watched in amusement as the boy struggled to find an answer. He was too adorable. “It’s okay, Jungkook. I will show you.”

She walked up to the red sack, standing onto her tippy-toes to reach the red gloves from the top. She pushed them into his arms and gestured for the boy to pull them over his hands.

“This is a punching bag.” She said as she walked behind the so called punching bag. “You can punch and kick it to get stronger, or when you are angry. I just thought – you once said that you think of yourself being too thin, and since you can’t go out, I thought that you would like something like that. We can hang it up in your room if you, but if you don’t want it it’s okay, then I will send it back. Come on, punch it.”

The boy stared at the red gloved that were now covering his hands, before looking up at the girl, checking whether she was serious or not. When their eyes met, she smiled and nodded at him to go on.

He carefully lifted his left hand in the air and pushed it forward. His punch was weakly, as if he was scared to hurt the bag.

The girl encouraged him to hit the bag harder this time. Insuring him that he was not hurting someone.

Jungkook lifted both of his hands this time, like he was actually preparing to fight someone. He threw another punch at the bag, which was much harder this time. Then he threw another one with the other hand.

Something inside him had just been woken up, and he was surprises by the power behind his punches. Before he had come to Hope, he was thin and weak, almost too weak to hold himself on his own legs.

Though he had gained some more weight over the last 7 days, he still was not happy with is body statue. He didn’t want to seem weak anymore. He wanted to be strong and powerful, so he could protect himself so he would never had to fear some human ever again in his life.

Being roommate with the small girl, he had recently developed the primal urge to also want to protect the female from all intruders and dangers coming from outside. So this punching bag could be a good chance to actually gain some muscles.

Over and over again, he punched the bag harder and harder, until the girl, who was still steadying the heavy sack, stooped him.

“Okay, okay!” She laughed, and immediately, Jungkook stopped. “I think it is better to hang it up in your room, or else you will punch me around the room. Come on, help me carrying it.”

Together, they carried the bag into the Hybrid’s room. The girl also brought a hammer and a hook for hanging up the punching bag onto the ceiling. The boy watched in amazement, as she climbed up onto a chair and bringing the hook into the ceiling all by herself.

When she was done, he helped her to lift up the bag and hang it up onto the hook. Proudly, she stepped off of the chair and rubbed her hands.

“Do you like it?” She asked again, this time more referring to the position they had hung up the red bag.

“Yes. I like it very much.” He just whispered, not knowing how to thank her appropriated. “Thank you…Hope. Thank you so much.”

They looked for another seconds at each other, before she said that she had to do some more work. She was about to leave, when she suddenly turned back.

“I forgot something.” She spoke more to herself, as she ran out of the room, leaving the confused boy behind. She came back a few minutes later, holding something black in her hands. “I actually have another surprise for you. Well…it’s not actually a surprise but more like a recommendation from me to you.”

She walked back inside the room, making her way up towards his bed. She asked him if she could sat down and he nodded, taking a seat next to her. Jungkook could sense her racing heartbeat and her nervousness. She lifted the black object and placed it on his lap carefully.

“This is a notebook. I – I know that you have been through some tough times, and it’s okay that you don’t want to talk about it with me. But if you ever feel like you need to get something off of you mind, you can just write it in here. Believe me, it helps very much to organized one’s mind into a notebook. I used one for myself when I was younger and didn’t want to talk to someone. So – here.”

Carefully, she lifted her hand and laid it on his for a moment. She knew that he was still afraid when it came to physical affection, but she just needed him to know that she cared.

Jungkook just stared at the notebook and then at her hand that was covering his. His cheeks blushed slightly when he realized that they were actually touching. But somehow, he didn’t feel the urge to pull away.

“The Simpsons, again?” The girl groaned and threw her head backwards, closing her eyes. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?”

When she opened her eyes again, she immediately was confronted with those big, brown orbs staring into hers. How could she say no? She sighed loudly, while pressing the right button onto the remote.

“Your play wasn’t fair.” She muttered, as she bent over and snatched the bowl of popcorn out of the Hybrid’s hands.

This day had been more then exhausting for the girl, but also a day of many happy occasion. First of all, she had finally finished the majority of her paper terms. It wasn’t perfect yet, but being done so early she had plenty of time for working on the details.

Jungkook wasn’t so pleased when she had worked twice as long for finishing her terms, meaning that he had to bridge twice as much time alone. He had tried a few times to convince her stop working for today, but when he realized that she wouldn’t go after his demand, he just pouted and went to his own room.

Hope had noticed the process Jungkook had made over the past two weeks which made her extremely proud.

Not only mentally, he became much more confident, but also physically. Since the day she bought him his punching back, he had been practicing almost every day. She would hear the dull tones of his gloves hitting the bag, while she would sit in front of her laptop in the dining room.

His skin and body looked much healthier, now. With his cheeks red and more plump, and with his shoulder and arms that seemed to get much and much broader every day, there was nothing left from the shy, injured boy from two weeks ago.

She had also noticed, that he actually wasn’t too averse to physical affection as she had thought. She thought that she had crossed a border when she touched his hands without his permission a few day before, but since then, he only seemed to trust her more.

He wouldn’t pull his hands away anymore, when their hands accidently touched. He also wouldn’t sit on the couch as far away from her as possible, instead, he even agreed to share the same blanket two nights ago.

He also had taken in her recommendation when she had given him the notebook. She sometimes watched him as he was bent over the small book, writing something in with fast and hectic movements. Sometimes, she wondered if he was actually writing, or if he was just sketching some pictures or signs. But then, he could read, so she assumed that he had learned how to write, too.

When he was done, he would just lay his pen aside, and stare at the book for several minutes, completely spaced out. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, but decided to not go for it. He should always have the chance to organize his thoughts without her bothering him.

The second exciting thing that had happened this day, was Jungkook accompanying her towards the grocery store. It wasn’t planned at all, but lately he had asked her more often if there was a chance that he could leave the apartment. At least one time.

Lucky for him, he had a short fluffy tail that was normal hidden by his shorts, and his ears could be easily covered by a beanie. He had looked like a normal, healthy and happy young man, when he had strolled behind her through the hallways of shelves.

It made her even more sat that he indeed was a normal boy. He had never asked to be bred in a laboratory. He had never asked to be threatened like a slave in his own home, and he especially deserved nothing mor than to feel normal. One day – One day he would get the chance to feel normal. She would to anything in her power to give him that chance.

“We can also watch something else if – if you want.” Jungkook ripped her out of her thoughts.

He had curled up under the blanket beside her, nudging his head into the soft pillow behind him. His ears were sprawled out to one side and all over the soft cushion, as well as his deep brown hair. The day in the supermarket had really worked him out.

The boy was so focused on the TV playing his favourite cartoon, that he didn’t notice how the girl took a quick picture of his being curled up on the couch. She looked at the taken picture for a few seconds, before closing her phone and throwing into onto the couch.

A sudden idea came into her head. The boy’s birthday was coming up soon, and she was still thinking of a nice surprise for. She knew he loved all of the photos that were placed all around the apartment. He loved to look at them every morning while she worked, and he loved even more when she told him the story behind every single photo, even if she had told them to him for several times.

What if he would wake up on his birthday, leaving his room and seeing a photo of him framed and hung up onto the wall? She actually like that idea.

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked for her phone. Why did she had to throw it away so far from her? She groaned. If she wanted to memo her idea, she needed to move now. She pushed the blanket away and bent over to reach her phone.

While doing so, she accidentally pushed her hand onto the remote, that laid next to her. The TV screen went black for a moment, before popping up with a new picture.

In the middle of the screen was now a news reporter talking. Hope didn’t pay him any attention. She was still occupied with her phone, when suddenly the Hybrid next to her shot up from his lying position.

He sat straight up, his mouth slightly open and his ears high up in the ear. Like paralyzed, his wide open eyes were fixed on the screen where the report was still talking about something the girl hadn’t caught yet.

“Jungkook?” She asked quietly, but he didn’t’ move an inch. “Jungkook, are you –“

“Shhhhh!” He didn’t even looked at her, as he shushed her shut, pointing his finger wildly onto the TV screen.

“…Unfortunately, the police had not been arriving in time. Witnessers though spotted some of the rarest breeds under the illegal participant Hybrids. Among them were Asiatic lions, some Azawakh dog and even an Amur Leopard. All of these Hybrids belong to the rarest breeds of the world. Dealing or participating them in illegal fighting clubs is highly is highly punished…”

Bullshit. None of those people will ever be arrested, and this guy in the TV knew it. If illegal dealers or ZCM’s, so called ‘Zoo Club Members’ or owners who send their Hybrids to illegal fighting clubs, were caught, there was neither someone who wanted to defend the Hybrids in front of the judge, nor no one even cared to actually bring the case in front of a judge.

She turned her head over to the hybrid sitting on her couch, but she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. When he had jumped up from the couch, she thought that he got scared because of the sudden change of the TV channel, but what she saw broke her heart.

The bunny Hybrid had laid his ears flat against his head, while big tears were spilling out of his eyes. Between short sobs and gasps he whispered two words all over again.

“Jin Hyung.”

[inspirations | recommendations] ⇉ 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀!

@wishesunderthestars

@agustdakasuga

@ditttiii

@angelicyoongie

@starlightauroras-writes

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago

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another one down Helmut Zemo x reader x Bucky Barnes

+++++++++ Mostly Zemo but ends with Bucky, if you read it you'll see what I mean lol

Song: control freak by doll skin

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

The safe house was a beautiful sight to behold. It was minimalist but very lavish, something that absolutely screamed Helmut Zemo. From the colors used in the paintings on the walls to the furnishings placed ever so carefully around the large room. Even for just a safe house, not a intended, livable, home; everything seemed so meticulous and thought out.

"Do you like it?"

The baron inquired, motioning his hand for me to sit on the plush couch. I of course would be lying if I said I didn't. It was much nicer than any place I'd ever had the pleasure of staying, apart from maybe the compound but even that didn't have the same spark that this did. I couldn't help but gawk at the grand estate he'd lead us to stay in.

"It is nice, that's for sure."

I confessed, trying not boost his ego but catching the smug look on his face as he watched me sit. Another thing I'd noticed about him. Every move I made since I'd met them in Madripoor seemed to catch his eye, and then some. Not only did he carry himself with stature, he made sure he was always one step ahead, knowing you better than you knew yourself. Part of me wondered if he knew I found him attractive. The other part wanted me to stop thinking about it.

"I've seen better."

Bucky said slyly, pouring himself a drink. His whole body looked tense, angry even, like he was trying with every fiber in his being not to kill the man standing in front of me. And who knew, maybe he was.

"Sure you have."

I barely caught as Zemo mumbled under his breath. I glanced between the two of them. Bucky was staring daggers through the baron and his jaw was visibly tightening.

"What's the point of all this stuff anyways if it just sits around doing nothing?"

Buck grumbled, clearly annoyed. Similar to me Sam just sat and watched the little quarrel at hand.

"Usually it would not just be sitting around. But in case you forgot I've been a little busy elsewhere."

Zemo was stepping further and further away from me, seemingly challenging Bucky with every step he made.

"Back in my day you only needed one place to call home."

Bucky stepped closer. They were almost chest to chest.

"Back in your day-"

"This is not a pissing contest boys."

I interrupted, Sam sending me a look as I stood and walked to them. I looked between them both. Bucky was all but seething; and I'm sure it didn't help that Zemo looked as cool as ever, barely worked up or even irritated.

"I don't care what the two of you have to do to get through this but it had better happen sooner rather than later, because if I have to listen to you two bicker like an old married couple for five more minutes I am absolutely going to lose it. And I don't think any of us want that."

It came out a little more stern than I had intended but they knew exactly what I meant. My powers sort of permitted that, but of the three of them Bucky was the only one who'd ever seen it happen. Not to mention the only one who'd ever been able to come near me enough to calm me down.

"How about we all just get something to eat and go to our respective rooms for the night. Not another word nor topic need be talked about."

The suggestion didn't go unnoticed as Bucky side eyed me, looking to Sam sat at the table watching this play out in silence.

"I think that's the best idea you've had all day."

°°°°°°°°°

After dinner we were shown to different rooms upstairs. It was all just as elegant as the rest of the house but the thing I was most excited about was the large bed taking up the majority of the space I was in. The only thing that would've made it more perfect was if Bucky could manage to sneak his way in here and fall asleep in my arms like he did back home. Not that we were a thing, but we found comfort in each other, so often times he spent the night at my place. After the first couple times we realized how stupid it was to not stay in the same bed together and here recently that had become the new norm. That is until he left to take care of the Karli situation.

It didn't matter though, because we were back together again. Well, sort of. But even here I felt betrayed by my own body. Usually I thought solely about Bucky. He was my person whether I wanted to admit it or not, even if we'd never gone on a proper date or called it what it really was. But despite that, and despite myself, I was yearning. And I felt guilty about it because now I was doing something that felt worthy of guilt. I shouldn't be thinking about the baron the way I was that's for sure. God I needed to go to bed, to shower, to do anything that made me stop thinking about it. But then there was a knock at the door. My brows knitted together in confusion as I opened it, just the person I didn't want to see.

"I wanted to come make sure you were comfortable with your accommodations."

Helmut said, his hands clasped behind his back as he stood tall and stoic in front of me.

"Yes, thank you."

He nodded once, turning his body away from me like he was preparing to leave.

"Is there anything I could get for you before you turn in for the night?"

He asked and it hit me, the shame of wanting him to come in.

"Actually, would you mind showing me how the shower works, I would hate to accidently break it."

I let out a nervous laugh, one he rivaled with a toothy grin as I let him into my room.

"It would be my pleasure."

He sang, following me slowly to the bathroom. Once there he sat at the edge of the tub and looked up at me, a small smile now playing on his lips.

"You know, you seem to be a complicated little thing."

I drew my brows.

"How so?"

He shrugged, reaching over and turning the faucet on the right.

"Hot here, cold here, shower plug."

He instructed before turning it back off and standing up. I watched as he walked back out into the room and before he could leave I caught his arm.

"Wait."

I said quickly. I needed something answered.

"Please tell me what you mean. I've heard about you and I need to know why it's me that escapes you."

I confessed almost desperately.

"Of the heroes you are the one with the least information, no background, no comprised list of powers, and no track record. Apart from James' apparent desire to please you, you don't have a tether to anything or anyone. I admire that about you."

God the blood should not be rushing to the places that it is. he spoke so smoothly it was like my brain stopped working. But despite that, there was one thing that caught my attention.

"You think Bucky aims to please me?"

I asked almost embarrassed and he smirked at me.

"There are much better pleasures in this world than the ones he is offering you."

He said lowly, stepping closer and closing the gap between us. It took me a moment to realize but I'd been holding my breath as his gaze bore into my own.

"And what pleasures are those?"

It was quiet and reserved, and maybe a bit testing, though unintentional. The look he gave me following my statement told me everything I needed to know, but if I had any questions about it they were answered when he leaned down and kissed me gently. There was a pause at first, from both of us like he was waiting for me to pull away, but I didn't. When he realized that though he stepped closer, if that was even possible; one hand on my hip and the other placed gently at my jaw as he now kissed me with purpose.

Once again my brain stopped altogether and I couldn't focus on anything but him. My hands tailed slowly up his arms, one making its way into his hair and tugging lightly. The hum that escaped him made me smile before he pulled away. His eyes were darker now, a hunger behind them as he stared down at me.

"Pleasures you could never even imagine."

He recited, trailing his finger tips across my jaw. We were still in very close proximity and as I thought for a second to kiss him again it was like I was brought back to reality, pushing him away and covering my mouth with my hand.

"No."

I said, muffled, unbelieving myself and what I'd just done.

"I can't do this, not to him."

It came out a little more broken than i'd intended but then again that's kind of how it felt. He looked down, nodding once as he resumed the position I'd met him in, hands clasped behind his back.

"You have a commitment to him. I understand."

He said in a soft tone. I felt bad again but this time I couldn't quite tell why. It was like I was letting him down but he was right. I did have a commitment to Bucky, to be there for him like he was for me.

"He's the only one who understands me."

I croaked out, trying to find any other answers behind the barons eyes that I was right to feel the way I did.

"That could change."

He said matter-of-factly and suddenly the feeling in my gut changed.

"Maybe I don't want it to."

I snapped back, brows drawn in frustration that he would be so bold to suggest I pick him over Buck. I stepped to him, finger in his face as he walked backwards into the door.

"at the end of the day you'll be back behind bars. He has been nothing but amazing to me since we met, a true gentleman and a friend. That's not going to change just because you come along with your stupid fancy house and antique cars. He cares about me, and I him."

The rage behind my eyes must have told him all he needed to know after that, his hands in the air as he finally looked different than his usual cool self. I had to admit though that it was probably my powers coming through, when I got worked up or angry they had a tendency of showing up. But one thing we didn't need was me crushing him or his house into the ground. I shook the thought as I opened the door, motioning for him to leave. He stood in the doorway for a second though.

"It wouldn't matter anyway y/n, like you said, he cares about you."

When he looked to the side with a knowing glance my face dropped, watching in horror as he nodded.

"James."

He said, walking off and leaving me to my devices as Bucky came into view.

"So you don't mind that I don't have a fancy house and antique cars?"

I laughed out, a sound somewhere between angry and unbelieving, reaching for his hand and squeezing it lightly.

"Do you love me?"

I asked. There was a pause and I almost got worried, but the genuine smile that spread across his features tore that feeling away very quickly. He nodded before pulling me flush to him.

"I do."

He said and all my worries melted away. i couldnt believe id been so stupid.

"Do you?"

He asked, making me blush as I nodded back, snaking my arms around his neck.

"So frickin much."

"thats good, cause i was worried id lost you there for a second."

he confessed and i just closed my eyes, feeling him press his forehead to mine.

"you could never lose me."

i breathed against him, his lips ghosting over my own.

"promise?"

i bit my lip for only a second before crashing them into his, holding the back of his head in my hand as he held me tightly to him. when we pulled away i looked between his eyes, almost getting lost in them. i nodded slowly as he stared back down at me waiting for an answer.

"i promise."

#wattpad #x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo #zemo #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #white wolf #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon #captain america #imagines #one shots #marvel #322

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blissfulalchemist · 4 years ago

Text

A Chance for Faith Ch. 7 “Finding You”

Look at that a non-prompt chapter for you. This takes place after the “I’m Not A Savior” piece that can be read here below the cut or on

Ao3

I hope you enjoy! master list

Faith walked into the trailer, taking it’s dark green carpet and faux dark wood walls, leaving her shoes at the door. Her brothers sat around the singular table, a map to Hope County spread out on top, another hanging on the wall with red string criss crossing it. The latest in their weekly meetings, all to make sure none of them had or would lose control of their sanctioned land. These meetings had always bored Faith, more so since their sister died, as her brothers didn’t seem to listen to her or care what she had to say, the support she once had gone months ago. Besides the only faction of resistance were holed up in the jail, while the rest of the county feared stepping foot in the Hebane, none wanted to risk losing their minds.

Joseph was in the middle of questioning John about their supplies by the time Faith walked in. “Sister,” Joseph greeted Faith as she took her seat between John and Jacob, “Glad you could join us tonight.”

“Always my pleasure, Joseph,” Faith gave him a warm smile.

“Right, now let’s get started shall we?” Joseph sat facing the map on the wall letting Jacob take the stage.

Jacob grunted as he stood to make his presentation, “Now we need to start focusing efforts more on securing the valley because someone kept letting the Deputy slip through their fingers,” Jacob growled looking pointedly at John, narrowing his eyes in return.

“My people are taking back what’s been lost to us in recent weeks,” John argued.

“Brothers,” Joseph’s calm voice chastised.

Faith rolled her eyes, scoffing quietly, “I didn’t know you’ve been able to do that,” Jacob responded wearily.

“Yeah,” John leaned back in his chair flippantly, “well no one’s heard from the Deputy in almost a month now.” Faith quickly looked at John and his news, “Even I haven’t heard from him and he typically has a sarcastic remark now and then.”

Chance would never allow for that much time between his insults to John, “You’re sure none of resistance has heard from him?” She asked the worry starting to creep in the back of her mind.

“Of course I’m sure. I think they figured Jacob here got to him,” John smirked to his oldest brother.

“Is this true Jacob,” Joseph interjected.

Jacob rolled his eyes crossing his arms, “You think I would kill him and not tell you? I know you want him alive. And even if I did kill him on accident, Chance would have been used as an example at this point.”

“So he just,” Faith spoke up, “disappeared?” She looked between them all, nods from John and Jacob. She narrowed her eyes, “Well that doesn’t sound like Chance.”

“It’s not like any of us really knew him,” John said through clenched teeth, the anger from the thought that he would never get Mary’s ring back seeping into his words. That is if Chance was actually dead, which Faith doubted.

“I can try to find out if someone even saw him,” Faith offered, the three brothers looking at her doubtful, “Well he has to eat still and get supplies now n’ again.”

The three looked at each other, a quick silent conversation occurring between them all ending in a shrug, “That would be very helpful my dear if you would,” Joseph finally spoke, assigning her the job.

Faith gave a quick nod, settling herself back into her seat, “Thank you, Joseph.”

Faith didn’t speak during the rest of the meeting unless spoken to, her thoughts going over all the possibilities as to what could have happened to him. She hadn’t spoken to Chance for almost two months, which was just fine with her. He was the one that started the fight. They had been doing just fine even after she “nearly killed him”, she couldn’t understand why finding out that she figured out their past sooner than him would hurt more and prompt him to leave. She thought he would be happy about it.

“It was done selfishly,” Mary’s voice advised, “You hoped he would join you.”

She was probably right, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t hurt her also. She waited for him and he left her, then when things got hard, he just left….again. As much as she hurt….she still missed him too. Missed his stupid smile that lit up his green eyes, the laugh that had her heart fluttering, the way he held her as they say on the river banks, and the safety his lips conveyed as they would kiss in his cabin. She just missed him.

No one hearing from him, and for this long, it made it hard not to worry about him, more so given his past. If he left her hurting the way she thought he was, the temptation to fall on old habits was going to increase. The stress he’d had to endure, the fear, and the feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders….she’d have gone back to her old habits long ago. Please let me find him dead via battle and not his own hand, she prayed as the meeting came to a close.

Faith dismissed her protection the next night, sending them off to places she knew he wouldn’t be, needing to be alone for where she was going to start her search. She changed into some jeans and a dark red shirt putting on the black leather jacket and purple converse Chance had given her the day she put their past together. Driving the inconspicuous sedan she made her way to Chance’s house, the way committed to her body’s memory. The two of them had started to meet twice a week, sometimes more if they could find the time, before she brought him into The Bliss and he spoke to the Father.

She missed those days where they would sit and talk, sometimes going to fish just behind the house at the river, or the few times she stayed the night and she thought he was going to kiss her but never did. How she had to take charge and kiss him first under that bridge, after that when she spent the night he was always attentive to her. Even after adding sex to their relationship it never felt like the only thing between them, they still enjoyed the other’s company talking, laughing, and contemplating the unanswered questions of life. It was those times that they spent together that brought her back to when they were kids and would explore in the woods by her house as their fathers talked about who knows what. All back when Rachel was still hopeful about some white knight saving her from her life with her parents. Back then she hoped that it would be Chance. Oh what a stupid girl she was.

Chance didn’t even know who she was for the longest time. Not that she could blame him, it was over ten years since they last saw each other. She didn’t even recognize him seeing him in that church as he put the cuffs on Joseph. It was only seeing the picture on the mantle that she figured out it was the boy that made the world a little brighter when he was near her. The boy who abandoned her when she needed him most.

The same boy who had come back to her.

To Rachel.

Faith killed the headlights as she pulled up to the darkened house. It looked to be abandoned as she got out of the car, rubbing warmth to her cold hands. Faith took a deep breath as she walked slowly up to the door, not bothering to knock as she pushed against it. There was no resistance as it swung open easily, her heart starting to race, That’s not a good sign. The floor creaked as she stepped inside, the smell of stale whiskey hitting her nose, just like some of the memories she worked to push back. The darkened room was lit by the small singular table lamp, a dark shirt muting the brightness of it. She closed the door behind her, walking to pull the cloth off illuminating the house, her feet kicking a few glass bottles, their rolling sound giving a small jump to her heart.

“Chance?” She called out looking for any sign of him, “Chance are you here?” Faith took in the living room her eyes having adjusted to the light. Bottles of various sizes and shapes littered the floor, a few boxes of pizza were stacked on the coffee and dining room tables, empty cans of soup on the kitchen counters. Faith looked over the cans, her nose wrinkling as some of them had a more potent smell than the others, he hadn’t cleaned in a long while or at least thought too. “Oh Chance,” Faith whispered, “What happened?” She looked to the stairs leading up to what was now Chance’s lab, a few bottles leading the way. Faith frowned following the trail, her footsteps echoing in the stairway.

The lab was less of a mess than the downstairs, her eyes sweeping the space stopping once they took in the twin sized bed against the wall. Faith’s eyes went wide seeing the mop of brown curly hair against the pillow, dark rings under closed eyes on a pale face. His red Misfits shirt, black jeans, and the lack of footwear stained with varying shades of brown, he’d been walking in the mud outside. Or falling was the better word as she took notice of the scrapes on his exposed arms, all in various stages of healing, as he held a near finished bottle. Another on the floor, half full, labeled as Smirnoff, while the one he held was Jack Daniels.

The one thing Faith couldn’t see any signs of was breathing, at least from where she stood. Eyes filling with tears, she rushed to his side, “Chance,” she shook him, her heart rapid in its pace, “Chance, can you hear me?” Desperate Faith recited prayers in her mind as she brought her ear to his chest, her panic making it hard to discern between his heartbeat and hers. “Wake up! Chance I need you to wake up! For me, please,” her cries having become desperate as she shook him more, starting to pound at his chest. Please don’t have gone like this. Not all alone, Faith thought as she went back to listening to his chest, finally able to focus on more than the worry building in her body. There was a sigh of relief finally making out his slow, but steady, heartbeat.

He was alive.

She just needed him to wake up now. The tears fell, without her permission, as she shook him harder, lightly hitting his face all while calling his name. There was no response and Faith started to wonder if he needed medical attention. Real medical attention, not just bringing him to Lance like she’d done in the past. It was a scary thought, bringing him to a doctor that belonged to people that wanted her dead, she’d be risking everything if it was serious there may not be much time to get a hold of Lance to take him. How could she do any less? Chance did as much for her months ago, the day she finally realized who he was, that he was the White Knight she dreamed about as a young Rachel. More than that, she loved him. She loved him and would risk her life for him because she did.

Faith was readying herself to start dragging Chance down the stairs when he finally let out a groan trying to swat her away. “Chance!” Faith grabbed his face looking into his green eyes as they opened slowly to her blue green ones. “Oh Chance,” she hugged him close to her crying into his shoulder, “I was so worried about you.”

Chance stiffened pulling away from her, his eyes searching her face, the recognition dawning on him. “Beautiful,” he slurred his hand reaching for her face, breath heavy with the scent of whiskey, “What are you doing here?”

Faith wiped her face clean, “I came looking for you, dummy,” she gave a half hearted chuckle, her frown returning quickly, “What happened Chance?”

Chance shook his head as he sat up, arms resting on his knees, “Nothin’,” he looked down at the bottle that he held, smiling he drank the rest of the bottle empty. “Jus’ having a little fun,” Chance’s words mumbled, strung together by the faintest sense of clarity.

Faith looked at him sympathetic and brow furrowing, “Chance...this is more than a little fun.” He shrugged, grabbing the bottle on the floor standing up, swaying before catching himself on the railing to the lower part of the cabin. Faith stood following him, “Chance please. This isn’t you,” Faith kept a step ahead of him as they went down the stairs.

Chance waved her off, “Are you kidding me? I never felt more like me in such a long time.” He took a drink of the vodka offering the bottle to Faith, when she didn’t reach for it he shrugged, rolling his eyes drinking more of it.

“Well everyone’s worried about you,” Faith explained, “You’ve been MIA for almost a month.”

Chance turned to her nostrils flaring, Faith taking a quick step back, “Don’t start taking that tone with me. Everyone can just fuck off!”

Faith glared at him, “Even the people that care about you?”

“Yes,” he took a long drink, “You know no one really cares about others. If they do they just want something from you.” He pointed the neck of the bottle at her, “A little life advice for you,” Chance stumbled making his way to the kitchen, his mood changing his smile over taking his features, “I’m starving. Are you hungry?”

Faith shook her head sadly, “Chance,” her voice soft putting a hand on his shoulder, “what happened?”

Chance pushed her hand off him, grumbling, “I came back that’s what happened.”

Faith ground her teeth hearing his piss poor answer, it’d be his last as she forced him to face her, “Chance! What. Happened,” she demanded.

His eyes darkened looking down at her, “You want to know what happened? I broke! There, you happy now with that answer?” Chance leaned down eyes level with hers, “I can’t do this shit anymore. I’m done being some symbol, savior, whatever the fuck they call me.” He shoved past her kicking some of the bottles on the floor out of his way, “They want me to be their everything and I never wanted it! They don’t even help! They just expect me to do everything! I got tired of it so I left!” Chance took another sip, wiping away at his mouth when he was done, “They want their home back so damn bad they can do it themselves.”

“So that’s it? Life got hard and you just gave up?” Faith followed him as he drank until there was nothing more than a quarter of the bottle left, “Just decided to go back to your old habits?”

He laughed, cold and empty as it echoed in the house. “That’s so fucking rich coming from you,” he sneered, “Little miss ex addict that followed a man who lured her into doing his bidding with a better high, promising you a chance to stay in your own little world where you ended up staying.”

Faith’s jaw clenched, blood starting to boil, grabbing the bottle from him throwing it against the wall, “I know that! But you got out of your own little world! You told yourself you wouldn’t go back to it! Sorry I want to make sure that at least one of us gets out and stays out!”

“Yeah well reality sucks and I don’t want any part of it,” his eyes strayed to the shattered glass, “So it really doesn’t seem fair that you get to stay happy while I don’t get that option. Did you ever think about that?” The subtle crack in his voice had Faith relaxing her body just the slightest, “That maybe, just maybe, I want to stay happy.”

“Chance,” she consoled softly.

“I can’t be happy in a place where I’m placed on a pedestal that I can never keep my balance on,” Chance’s tears started to escape silently, the anger leaving his voice. Faith touched him gently guiding him to the sofa to sit, “A place where my hands-,” he held them up, eyes getting a far away look, “Where my hands are stained red constantly, no amount of scrubbing letting the color go.” Faith stroked his hair, heart falling, “And still they expect me to keep going.” Chance had started to rock himself back and forth, body shaking, “I never even got the chance to stop and think about what I was doing. What I was signing up for.”

She wrapped her arms around him, “I know. I’m sorry,” she whispered in his hair as he continued.

“I didn’t want this, Faith. I never wanted this. God I never wanted this,” his rocking stopped, the shaking of his sobs taking over, “Why did I ever agree to this? Why would they make me their leader? Why would they make us leaders? I’m only 25 and you’re only 24.” Chance laughed bewildered, Faith wiping away at some of the tears, “We’re just kids Faith. I-. Fuck! I just want to go home. Be away from all of this.”

“Shhh,” Faith felt his arms wrap around her as she stroked his hair. “You’ll be home soon,” Faith kissed his head, unsure of what she was saying was of any comfort to him. She couldn’t promise him that, there might not even be a home he could go to when the end came, whatever end that may be.

“Faith…,” Chance cried into her chest.

“Yes Chance.”

“I’m scared. I’m so scared.” He’d admitted a lot to her in their time together but never that he was scared….never that he was scared. “I’m so scared about what will happen to me every time I step outside that door. How much of who I am will be taken from me each day.” He pulled away to get a better look at her face, “I don’t want to lose who I am,” his green eyes were ringed with red as he looked up to her face, “I’m so scared of losing me. I don’t feel like me,” Chance sobbed. Faith wiped away the tears from his eyes, “I just feel so scared and alone.” Faith inhaled sharply, “I just don’t want to feel like dying anymore.”

Faith pulled him in close to her, hugging him tightly as he cried. “You’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you,” she repeated to him like a prayer kissing the top of his head, her own tears falling silently. They were so alike in many ways but never once did she ever think he would admit to such feelings to anyone. He was Chance, outgoing and happy despite the loss and sadness it entailed, not the Chance admitting that he silently begged for death. It was the last thing she’d ever want for him.

As his sobs subsided Faith got him standing and moving to his bed, where she undressed him taking in all the scars he was getting from being in this Holy War neither asked for. Faith looked at the clock as she laid him down, placing a trash can near his head should he need it, there was time before she had to be back to avoid raising suspicion. His eyes closed quickly, gently tucking him into the bed, leaving him for the main part of the house.

She picked up some of the bottles, stopping to clean up the shattered bottle from their fight, gathering the pizza slices that looked recent and safe to eat, placing them in the fridge, and finally throwing out the empty cans of soup. It wasn’t much, the house needing more to get it back to a decent state, but it was something to help him out for now.

Faith wasn’t sure what to do now that she’d found him. He was in a bad state and she doubted he would even remember this come tomorrow when he woke. The most she could do now was just check up on him every night, come up with some story to tell him when he confronted her about her being there again, and hope that she wouldn’t come one night to find him dead.

Faith went to the bathroom grabbing the pain pills and a glass of water placing it on his nightstand. She smoothed out his hair, her heart longing to curl up next to him. She started to contemplate what would happen if she stayed when his slurred voice asked, “Will you stay with me?”

Faith frowned, in the end it was too much of a risk for her to stay with him like this, she pushed the hair covering his eyes out of the way, “I wish I could but-.”

He nodded slowly, “You have your pedestal to keep balanced on.” Chance reached out to her bringing his face close to hers, “I think I love you, Faith,” he leaned in to kiss her, Faith stopping him.

Another thing he’d never admitted to her and oh how she wanted it to be true. She swallowed, “Tell me when you’re sober, Chance,” her voice a whisper to hide the break, “Maybe then I’ll believe you.” Faith tried to muster a smile, failing as Chance’s eyes closed.

He nodded lying back down, “I do mean it though,” Chance turned to his side, nestling into the blankets, “I think I’ve loved you since you were Rachel still.”

She swallowed the lump starting to form in her throat standing up, “Good night my White Knight. I’ll check on you tomorrow,” she promised as she shut the lights off. Taking one more look around the house she sighed, there were to be some tough decisions she’d have to make on his behalf. “Sometimes you have to for those that you love,” Mary’s voice chimed in once more as Faith started the drive back to her house, “And you love him, Faith.”

Chance woke to bright afternoon sun filtering in through the cracks of the dark curtains, at least he assumed it was afternoon, either way it pained his eyes. He rubbed them, groaning, head pounding. He looked at the clock on his nightstand slowly, confirming it was the afternoon. “Fuck,” he muttered as he sat up, “late start today Chance.” Out of the corner of his eye Chance saw the bottle of pain pills and a glass of water, “At least drunk me was nice this time.” Chance poured six pills in his hand swallowing them all at once with the water. Memories of the night before coming back to Chance hazily; Faith coming and finding him, the two of them yelling at the other, and then her….tucking him into bed? Chance shook the thoughts out of his head, they weren’t memories….just a dream. It had to be. No one was coming to look for him, especially Faith, she was the last person that wanted to see him.

Chance walked around the house searching for a bottle with any amount of liquor in it taking notice of the cleanliness of the house. I was really nice to myself last night, Chance thought as he went through his cupboards finding just enough liquor to get his headache under control. Chance sighed looking at the half glass of a mixed concoction of various liquors, “And I guess that’s why.” He drank the whole thing in one sitting before putting on his sunglasses, “Guess I better get some more.”

Chance had raided all the places closest to him for their alcohol so it was time to risk facing the residents again and go to the gas station close by. Chance put a hoodie on as he exited his truck, hoping to hide his face. The place looked empty but one could never be too sure in these times. The ding of the bell echoed as he opened the door, eyes trying to land on anything that looked like movement. There wasn’t anyone else Chance could see, not that he started to care much making a beeline for the liquor aisle. It was still stocked surprisingly, no one having come to claim back this business.

Chance grabbed an empty crate, fitting in three bottles of vodka, three of whisky, and two boxes of the strongest red wine. He lifted the crate, needing out of the building feeling his eyes heavy, the fluorescents stinging his eyes. Chance stopped hearing someone clear their throat behind the counter, Guess there was someone that reclaimed their business, “I need to see your ID,” the attendant said lazily, “and some payment would be nice.”

Chance looked up to him annoyed, “Seriously? You need to see my ID?”

The attendant shrugged, “Federal law still.”

“Who the fuck is going to arrest you with Eden’s Gate here? There’s no police department anymore.”

The attendant stared at him, hand outstretched for the card. Chance let out an exasperated breath setting the crate down rougher than he should have, reaching for his wallet. “I’m uh,” the attendant started pointing to their head, “I’m also going to need you to at least put your hood down sir.”

Chance rolled his eyes pushing the hood back, “There.” Chance grumbled to himself trying to pull out his ID with shaky hands. He growled when it fell to the floor, the chime of the bell filling the store with it’s sound, “Fuck,” he said under his breath as he bent down to pick it up.

Chance ignored the sound of footsteps nearing him as he stood back up finally pulling the ID out handing it to the attendant. The sudden change in position had Chance feeling like he was going to be sick, he needed to get back home. He rubbed the back of his neck, letting the air cool his neck as he exposed it, pushing his hair out of the way. There was an audible gasp behind him, freezing him in place. “Chance,” A woman’s voice asked in a single breath, “Is that really you?”

“Who wants to know,” he responded, annoyance propelling him as he turned around to face the voice. The woman he faced looked to be in her forties, with brown hair streaked with some grey, and eyes a jade green. Her clothes, with their stylized black cross printed on them, indicated she was just another peggie, Great. I’m gonna get gunned down in a fucking gas station. The longer Chance looked at her the more he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should know her somehow. She felt….familiar. Chance took off his sunglasses getting a better look at her.

Her eyes went wide, filling with tears as recognition and relief flooded her features, hand covering her mouth, “Oh Chance! It is you.” She reached out to hug him smiling, Chance pushing her back. Her face fell, offended, the smile turning to a frown, “Don’t you know who I am?” Chance shook his head leaning away from her. She gave him a small smile, a tear falling down her cheek, hand placed on her chest, “Chance it’s me. Your mother. I’m your mom, Chance.”

#a chance for faith #I know it's valentines day and it should be some fluff but I didn't want to wait on this #I'll get some fluff done later today #chance ruicknar oc #x: emo flower child #faith seed #faithxmaleoc #faithxoc #far cry 5 fanfiction

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imultifandomstuff · 5 years ago

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Fated: Chapter one (A Dean Winchester series)

A/N: First chapter!! Thank you to everyone who left feedback. Not much happens in this chapter, but reader meets the boys and all that jazz and I gotta get the boring stuff outta the way! Still, I really hope you guys enjoy :)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: It’s 2020, and reader is freed from the portrait when the brothers kill the witch who trapped her.

Warnings: mention of blood

Introduction

A harsh nudge at your side is what woke you up.

It took only a second for you to realize that you were on the cold, wooden floor of the room you'd been stuck in for nearly twelve years. It was the most recent place you'd been moved to, the most recent home of Juliana.

A sharp gasp left your dry throat, the first noise you'd been able to make in over a century, and you pushed yourself up on shaky hands.. hands that still had the blood of your fiancé on them. The last thing you remembered was two men fighting Juliana, and then a sharp pain.. and then you were waking up on the ground.

Tears sprung in your eyes as it began to register in your mind that you were out, free from the never ending prison you'd been trapped in.

Then, someone cleared their throat.

You looked up, sniffling quietly as you stared up at two men, blood splattered on their faces and clothing. You weren't sure if it was theirs, or Julianas, or both. They stared down at you in confusion, guns pointed in your direction. You definitely weren't there before.. what the hell were you wearing? And whose blood was on your hands and dress?

"Did.." you croaked, it had been so long since you'd used your voice. Swallowing deeply, you tried speaking again. "Did y-you kill her?" You spoke in a raspy voice. The two looked at each other with confused glances, before looking back at you. The taller one lowered his gun so that it wasn't pointed directly at you, looking around the room. His eyes fell on the empty portrait on the wall.. one he swore had a painting of a young woman who looked extremely similar to the one on the floor in front of them.

"Yeah and we're gonna kill you too, unless you give us a good reason not to," the shorter one snapped, his gun still pointed directly at you. The taller one nudged his brother, and you scowled. What business did he have speaking to you like that?

"What year is it?" You asked, grabbing ahold of the desk next to you with a shaky hand and pulling yourself off of the ground. Leaning against it, ignoring the unsteadiness of your legs, you awaited their response. However, they stared at you in suspicion and gave you no answer. You sighed out of frustration,"The last year I heard her say was 1978, and by the appearance of your clothing I'm assuming we're not in that decade anymore."

"What the hell are you talking about?" The shorter one snapped again. "Dean," the taller one muttered, eye caught on the blank portrait on the wall. He'd seen it while tied up, before Dean arrived, and it wasn't blank before. He looked back at you for a moment, you were the same woman from the painting. He pointed at it,"You were in there."

Dean rolled his eyes,"Sam, are you serious? There's no way-"

"I saw it, Dean. When I was tied up, I saw that painting, and she was in it."

"She trapped me there in 1914, after murdering my fiancé out of jealousy," you explained, your heart clenching at the memory that still seemed so fresh. So much time had passed, yet it felt like none had all. Blinking back tears, you looked between the two men,"You freed me, I thank you for that."

"Well, congratulations, you're out. Let's go, Sammy."

"Dean, we can't just leave her alone. She has no idea what life is like, she has no money, and no family," The man named Sam argued, concern in his eyes.

As much as you wanted to argue that you'd be fine, it would be a lie. You truly had no idea what the world was like, you had no glimpses other than the wardrobe you'd seen Juliana in and short sentences she'd speak to you every once in a while. Fear filled your bones, knowing the world you were about to be thrown into would be a complete stranger to you. It wasn't as if you wanted to go to the home of two strange men (your mother would scold you for even considering it if she were here), but what other choice did you have?

You needed their help.

"Sam is correct, it was so long ago when I was imprisoned inside of that portrait. I have no idea what to expect outside of this room."

Dean looked up at the ceiling, running a hand over his tired eyes as he let out an aggravated sigh. Finally, he looked back down at the two of you,"Alright, fine, whatever."

Exiting the home was more overwhelming than you expected it to be. Everything was so different. It was busier, the roads were filled with strange looking vehicles, strange looking people. The clothes they wore were quite odd, you realized as you sat in the backseat of the moving car, but then again they'd likely think you were the strange one if they saw your attire.

The vehicle was quiet as Dean drove, it was clear he wasn't entirely happy about bringing you along with them. Sam seemed quite nice, though. He'd even gathered some of Juliana’s clothes for you before leaving the home, knowing you'd need a spare once you got cleaned up.

Some time passed before they pulled into a lot and parked, and you looked around at the run down building.

"Is this where you live?"

You tried not to sound too judgmental, but your lack of human contact was clear. Dean rolled his eyes as Sam gave you a tiny smile,"Uh, no. This is just the motel we've been staying at."

With furrowed brows, you asked,"Do you mean hotel?"

"It's sort of a hotel, just a lot cheaper and smaller."

You made a quiet noise of understanding as he helped you out of the car. They led you into the room that smelled slightly of stale cigarettes, and Sam led you into the bathroom so that you could wash up and get out of the bloodied dress. After showing you how to work the handles, he exited and shut he door behind him.

"The clothes these days are truly strange," you spoke once you exited the bathroom, wet hair soaking into the t shirt you now wore along with a pair of sweatpants. "I look ridiculous! If only my mother could see me.."

You looked at Dean, expecting to see Sam there with him. The taller man was a bit more comforting than his broody brother.

Dean hummed, still uncomfortable with the fact that he had to babysit a woman not even from this time,"You'll get used to it, Sam went to get food."

You gave a tiny smile and a short nod,"Alright." Dean nodded and walked towards the bathroom, you assumed to wash off just like you did. "Dean?" You called. He turned with a raised brow, and you curled your arms around yourself. A nervous habit your mother always scolded you for.

"I realize you aren't too happy about me being here, and I promise as soon as I understand everything I'll be out of your hair."

He stared at you for a moment, pursing his lips before speaking,”It’s 2020, by the way.” You sat on the uncomfortably squeaky bed that was still unmade from whoever had slept there, shocked that so much time had passed. More tears pricked your eyes, and you curled into a ball and leaned back on the pillow, allowing them to fall freely. You wondered if you even had any family left, but you were the only child and it seemed unlikely, Your father had died from an accident on a hunting trip with his closest friends, Mother a widow who refused to marry again. You were truly all alone, accompanied by two strangers who saved you from a prison they didn’t even know you were trapped in.

By the time Dean got out of the shower, you were fast asleep on top of the covers. In his bed. He sighed, tossing his dirty clothes onto his bag before crossing his arms as he stared at you. Goosebumps covered your arms, you were cold.

Walking forward, he heard you mumble the name ‘William’ before letting out a quiet whimper, and he nearly frowned. He carefully pulled the old blankets over your sleeping body, Sam entering the room just as Dean covered you. He chuckled at the sight, grinning,”Got a soft spot for her already, Dean?”

He rolled his eyes, quickly standing and grabbing the bag of burgers from his brother,”Shut up, Sam.”

TAGS: @teenwaywardasgardian @lovelydivs @carostar2020 @greenarrowhead @pillowjj

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader

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365daysofsasuhina · 6 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Eighty-Two: Stubborn Old Mule ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Of Monsters and Men ] [ AO3 Link ]

Tch...stubborn old mule…

Resisting the urge to grit his teeth (even the most subtle of gestures is hard to hide in a coven of vampires - their keen eyes miss little), Sasuke keeps up his typical facade until back in his car and pulling away from the Senator’s headquarters.

It’s then he lets loose a rare display of temper, smacking a hand against the steering wheel with a grunt.

Madara’s not listening!

Though he seems to believe Sasuke’s tale about the witch, he’s done little of anything to show he’s taking such a concern seriously. At least he gave permission to use on-duty time to tail and monitor her, as well as the time of others to look into the old miko bloodlines to try and root out any other possible witches. But he himself hasn’t done a damn thing to give any indication he’s involved!

Scowling, Sasuke has to mind his foot on the pedal. He’s been too caught up with that harpy hybrid he discovered - and all by complete accident. His fascination with such things is...obnoxious, to say the least.

Sure, a Nightwalker as old as Madara has little to worry about. But he’s a Senator, damn it! He oversees and represents every one of their kind within Japan’s jurisdiction! He might attend the monthly gatherings, and the yearly one in London...but he’s been leaving more and more of his typical duties in the hands of his Enforcers. Those like Sasuke, his brother Itachi, and their cousin Shisui. His top officers that help toe the line between humans and monsters.

...Sasuke hates that word. After all, he’s seen plenty of humans do monstrous things. As old-fashioned as it might be, he prefers the archaic terms: Nightwalkers and Daywalkers.

...and Twilightwalkers, as he’s just discovered recently.

For a while he drives rather aimlessly, mostly just using time to brood over what Madara’s done...or rather, not done, as of late. Attacks from Nightwalkers - especially vampires - against humans has been on a slow but steady incline. And yet he seems so uninterested!

It’s so infuriating!

Long ago, Sasuke learned to take his job seriously. And at this point, he’s half-wishing the old bastard would just retire and let someone new take the seat.

Preferably someone like his brother. Itachi’s a model keeper of the mandates, and a great compromiser and strategist. There’s no one - in his (rather biased) opinion - more suited for the job.

But that’s the thing...Nightwalker Senators rarely retire. For most, the only incentive to remove themselves...is to be removed.

And good luck killing Madara.

Not that Sasuke condones murder and assassinations. But he’s not stupid - he knows that’s largely how the Senate has worked since its founding. Look at those like London’s vampiric Senator! He founded the damn thing and still serves!

Realizing he’s getting too worked up to drive, Sasuke takes a deep breath and pulls to a curb, dragging a hand down his face as the other continues to grip the wheel.

He needs a vacation. But he also knows he’ll never consent to take one. Not with things as they are. Those like Sasuke are more necessary than ever now.

Besides, he knows if things get bad enough, Itachi will drag him away as he always does when he needs - really needs - a break.

For now, he decides to kill two birds with one stone: a few hours of his night taken easy, and checking up on his witchy woman.

...the witchy woman. He’s just...the only one keeping tabs on her at the moment. Sasuke doesn’t really...trust anyone else to do it.

He shoots her a text asking her where she is, turning off the engine in the interim. A few minutes pass before she replies.

Apparently she’s gone to a movie with a group of friends.

Ah, right...it’s Saturday night. Of course she’s out doing something.

Before he can ask where, she counters with, Do you need to see me?

His brows lift just a hair. Well, no...he doesn’t need to. He just...should.

It’s been a few days. While it sounds like she’s safe, he just...should make sure. He’s responsible like that.

And it’s not like anyone else is taking this seriously…

No need, just checking in if you have a few minutes

As it just so happens, just a few blocks away, Hinata checks her phone and receives said message. Thankfully the rest of her friends are too excited discussing the plot twist ending of the movie to notice she’s texting someone other than one of them. Which...are her few and only friends.

It makes her snort softly. So it’s not necessary, per se...he’d just appreciate it. This guy sure is clingy...maybe she’s underestimated how important she and her powers are? Or maybe he’s just bored. Could be a slow few days for a monster police officer, so...he’s just twiddling his thumbs and checking up on his local human-not-human.

Or something like that.

Okay - meet you at that same coffee shop? I’m like 2 blocks away, could be there fast

“Heyyy, whatcha doin’?”

Stiffening, Hinata looks up from her mobile, spying one of the girls looking back at her. “Oh, uh...c-checking in with a project partner.”

Lips purse...but thankfully don’t pester her further.

“Um...you guys head back, I’m gonna meet them. They’ve been grinding out a presentation off campus, so I’ll just...swing by and then head home.”

“You sure you’re okay walking alone?”

“They’ll go with me! Just gonna meet them there, then we’ll both go back.”

Everyone exchanges a look, and she instantly reads it.

“I’m n-not going to get mugged again!”

“Okay, okay! We just worry, ne?” Text us when you’re leaving so we know you’re on your way, okay?”

For a moment, Hinata can’t help a stab of emotion - it’s not often she’s made to feel included, a bit of a black sheep in her group. “...I will. Thanks guys - see you later.”

Wanting to make good on her word, Hinata scurries to the shop in question, seeing a familiar dark car along the curb. Seems he beat her here - was he already nearby?

“Hey.”

Jumping a little bit as a voice greets her as soon as she opens the door, Hinata blinks. “H...hey. Everything all right?”

“Yeah, just out on patrol. Thought I’d check in. You good?”

“Um...yes? Nothing out of the ordinary’s happened lately...unless you count actually getting out of my d-dorm strange.”

To her surprise, that earns a small snort. “Well, at least you’re making things easy on me.”

“...you’re welcome?”

“Hn.”

Brow wilting as a silence grows, she asks, “Is...everything okay with you…?”

“Me?”

“Yeah - you, um...you feel...stressed?”

“Is mind reading one of your special little powers?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

For a moment, Sasuke eyes her critically before sighing, glancing aside. “...my boss is being...irritating.”

“Oh...aren’t m-most bosses that way?”

“Maybe, but few hold as much power as this one, and he’s misusing it. Or rather, just...not using it when he should. But don’t worry about that - I’m...handling it.”

“Um...well, okay.” A pause. “...I know, um...you’re the one that’s supposed to be protecting me, but...if I can help, then -”

“Trust me, there’s not much one little witch can do. At least, not anything that wouldn’t put you in an absurd amount of danger. And I’m not gonna do that.”

“...well, I meant more in a ‘you can talk to me if you need it’ kind of way, but...what else could I do?”

That earns another glance. “...like I said, nothing I’m willing to risk exposing you to. For now, I just...need you to keep low. Maybe let me know if anyone else in your family comes forward with powers like yours. Or if anyone Nightwalker bothers you.”

There’s a slight pout at that, but she nods. “...okay.”

...this isn’t killing as much time as he wants, nor is it helping to take his mind off Madara. “...well, you should get back. Want me to drive you?”

“Um…” Hinata bites her lip. “...I dunno? That...wasn’t exactly missed last time, and if it happens again -”

“Right, right...well I can’t let you walk back alone. I’ll take you close, but not up to the building. I can watch from there, make sure nothing happens.”

“Oh...okay.”

The ride back is mostly silent, and Sasuke pulls alongside another dorm before letting her get out. “Guess I’ll check in again later. And tell me if anything strange happens.”

“Okay...though I can’t help but hope it won’t.”

“You and me both.” Once she’s out, he slowly pulls around to make sure she makes it to the door, then takes his leave to actually patrol. For once...he can’t help but almost wish for trouble. Just to give him something to do.

...maybe he’ll talk to his brother later.

Itachi always knows what to do.

Woo, done with half an hour to spare until bedtime! GOLLY today was a long, tiring day...but hey, we're here! More of the Nightwalkers crossover, which is turning into a mini-series within a series, haha! Sasuke, it seems, is starting to get lonely and actually miss his little tagalong...or rather, he's more hers, if anything. But at least Hinata doesn't seem to mind...so long as it doesn't get her back into the gossip circles. She can't really explain being a witch and friends with a vampire, after all. Anywho, that's all for tonight! Time to check comments and then head to bed. Thanks so much for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #of monsters and men [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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northwest-cryptid · 8 years ago

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Get to know me tag thing that I’ve not gotten a tag for in a real long time so I’ve sorta forgot how they work but I’m just gonna wing it and hope it’s okay in the end. I have been tagged by @kaiachu to do the “get to know me tag” thing, I normally don’t get tagged for this sort of thing so I’m happy to give it a shot :D (Thanks by the way!)

This got way longer than I thought it’d be so, here’s a read more for the people who follow me and don’t have any kind of xkit thing to blacklist “#long post”

1ST RULE: tag 10 people you want to get to know better (I’m horrible with that sort of thing so I probably won’t have 10 people but I’ll try to at least tag some people in this (and yet I’ll fail, trust me.))

2ND RULE: bold the statements that are true (Personally this format sorta confuses me so I’m just going off what was already listed and just gonna swap out details to be facts about me hope that’s alright, rules are weird, I’m not really a rebel but sometimes it’s easier to make your own rules :P)

APPEARANCE: -I’m nearly 6 foot but I genuinely forget the exact, though I know I’m rounding up so that’s a thing. -I have black hair and brown eyes -My hair doesn’t know what it wants to do, some days it’s super curly other days it’s straighter than the most cliche straight white boy. -I’m tall and skinny which is honestly a little annoying -I’m not super pale but I’m what I’d call “white” if my Native American heritage and culture didn’t make me salty about everyone calling me white :P -Imagine Akira from Persona 5, except I can’t summon demons and also I’m not anime, and also I’m not as attractive as him, and also I remember to turn off the light when I go to sleep (there’s a joke for anyone out there who’s played Persona 5 and got annoyed when Akira continuously left the damn lights on every night, no wonder he needs glasses!) Basically I’ve got that same general tall skinny guy build with curly poofy hair and right now it’s actually pretty short so I could actually style it like that if I wanted.

PERSONALITY: -I’m an unintentionally sassy/sarcastic friend if you know me well enough to know I’m joking. -I am always up to help someone however I can, be that listening to their problems or taking direct action to help solve said problems. Though I dislike the idea of being the therapist friend who is only ever spoken to when someone has a problem. -I have more social anxiety in casual settings, however during important/formal social events I find that I already know my role and I’m relatively calm so I’d not say I’m anxious in every social situation. I just need to know my role. -I really try to be a chill person, however I feel like a lot of our culture says “chill” and means “has no opinions on anything and won’t take a stand against something they don’t believe in.” I say that mostly because I find that people will often talk about how chill I am right up until something strikes a nerve with me and I stand up for my morals or beliefs and suddenly it’s “wow you’re so dramatic!” For the record no I’m not talking about the MANY times I’ve actually been way too god damn dramatic (believe me I’m all too aware of those times). -I love all animals, I’ve volunteered at cat shelters quite a lot in my early life because we had a no-kill shelter near my house that needed someone to work with the unadoptable cats. However I’ve been part of a family who has rescued anything from squirrels to snakes to bearded dragons to dogs, to one legged parrots, at one point we had a tarantula and weirdly enough I wasn’t quite as scared of it as I am with most spiders... still didn’t want it anywhere near me. However yeah in general I’ve helped treat tons of animals in my life and I’ve learned to appreciate them all.

ABILITY: -I’d say I can’t draw to save my life but Bob Ross basically dedicated his life to explaining that anyone can make art so yea I’ll respect that. I’m not exactly good at it though. -I’m reasonably athletic but it depends on the activity. I’m a fine sprinter but a bad jogger, I’m good at fencing, I can bike for quite a while, I work out fairly often when I get the chance and according to the numbers the machines give me I’m healthily athletic? I’m not some sports person though. -I personally hate sleeping, it feels like a waste of my time. -I love to play/write music. Music is such a beautiful form of art that can make people feel so many different emotions. Music means a lot to me and I love to sit down and play an instrument with friends or write a new song.

HOBBIES: -I play a LOT of games, anything from video games to tabletop D&D to dice games and casino style gambling games with friends :P -I tend to draw, write, or make music for fun whenever I have an artistic itch to scratch. -I previously mentioned that I work out, I don’t say that to brag or anything I just genuinely find it fun to run around a gym listening to motivational music and having an outlet for all my energy. -It may sound silly but a legitimate hobby of mine is to listen to music, I will sometimes just sit down and put on music I like, this is often something I’ll do at night, I like to just sit down with some tea and relax with good music. -I also enjoy driving, mostly night driving but I’m not going to be picky. Getting lost out in the middle of nowhere and admiring the scenery around me is always really fun, it’s part of why I love night-driving I really enjoy getting away from the light pollution and looking up at the stars. I drive a convertible so it makes it really easy to see everything around me while I drive, but it’s sort of a death trap if I get in an accident so I tend to take in the sights when I’m at a stop and not in the middle of a drive :P

EXPERIENCES: I’m prefixing this with the fact my life is boring and the more interesting experiences of my life are things I don’t much care to just share with the internet -I’ve flown out to New York numerous times to visit my ex (who I was dating at the time) and that was always fun, it was always weirdly freeing to know that I had saved the money and independently flown myself out there. -I once stabbed my foot with my own pocket knife by somehow flipping it open as it fell off my desk it hit a vein in my foot and I was squirting blood down the hallways at like 2 AM. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as you’d think but it wasn’t fun to say the least. -Meryl and I used to often go night driving and actually managed to get out of the car and go hiking a few times at like 2 - 3 AM it was fun, except one time we managed to get a flat tire out in Washington and didn’t have a spare tire so it was exciting to find a way of getting home at midnight when we were a whole state away.

RELATIONSHIPS: -I’m not gonna list my previous relationships or anything I don’t really feel like that’s respectful to the people I was in the relationships with, even if they weren’t all the best people (though most of them were/are fine people) I don’t want to disrespect other people’s privacy. -However I will say that I’m currently single as fuck.

MY LIFE: -My life has been sorta interesting lately. -I’ve recently really connected with my local friends, I’m part of a D&D group which helped me make a new friend, and an old childhood friend of mine recently texted me saying he lives in the area and wants to hang out sometime. I love all my friends, and I care so much about my internet friends don’t get me wrong but it is also nice to be able to get out of the house and hang with a friend every now and then. -My family is pretty small, I’ve got 1 older brother (I know I have some siblings from my dad’s previous wife but outside of my half brother I sadly don’t know them well). -I live in Oregon but I can be found driving throughout the west coast at night, you’ll know if you find me because I’m the asshole in the red convertible playing music at like 3 AM but really quietly because I want to respect people who might be sleeping but also just loud enough that you can kinda hear it in the distance because it’s a fucking convertible and road noise makes it hard to hear... oh and also I’ll have the top down even if it’s like 10 degrees out because I like the cold and I’m probably wearing like literally a tank-top and leather jacket to balance the temperature. -I’ve literally had over 50 animals in this house at the same time. Currently however we have 1 Rhea, we just got another few chickens I think we have 3 - 4 now? We have 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 ball python, and... I think that’s it right now?

RANDOM SHIT: -I’m currently 22 -I love talking to people but I’m bad at starting conversations... -I’ve currently been playing Warframe, Guild Wars 2, FFXIV, and PSO2, though to be honest I’ll play just about anything if a friend asks me to :P -Personal favorite food is Cheesecake unless you don’t count that, then it’s Pad Thai, then Sushi, then Shrimp in general. -In person I can hold a conversation for hours, on the internet I’m awful at it. -I often feel like I’m overbearing to new friends because I am easily excited at the concept of making new friends. -I will start writing 20 D&D campaigns knowing full well I’ll never actually get to DM them for anyone, it’s a weird obsession I have with the concept of storytelling through experiences.

I mentioned this at the start, I’m bad at tagging people so the only thing I can really say here is that if you’re someone who (like myself) likes listing off random stuff about yourself, feel free to take it upon yourself and consider yourself tagged. If you’re not the type to be comfortable with this sorta thing that’s cool too, no pressure. If you DO write up one of these after seeing mine, feel free to tag me in the post so I know :P

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gracebolton · 5 years ago

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Is Nuclear Power Glowing or Just Green?

An interesting conversation happened on twitter around 4 years ago, including a remark from Dr Karl Kruszelnicki in reference to nuclear power, in response to another tweeter.

Problems with nuclear are 1)potential to make nuclear weapons 2)waste (95% of energy remains in waste) 3)Chernobyl https://t.co/y9tfOejj4y

— Dr Karl (@DoctorKarl) April 22, 2016

The other tweeter is someone I’d run across recently when discussing the nuclear arena, so I decided to enter the discussion using my personal account.

Twitter has what I see as an advantage in the 140 character count, as people can’t waffle on, and therefore get to the point (supposedly). On the other hand, it is really hard to have a detailed, productive discussion.

In a previous discussion about nuclear with the same party, it started to get a little heated, then a third party joined in and the whole thing became a waste of time.

In these discussions, I tend to take a pretty neutral view, as I do with battery storage. Its important to have the conversations and have multiple viewpoints, because sometimes its enlightening, and sometimes it can change an open mind.

As one of my first points, I referenced an article on Renew Economy, which sought to dispel some myths about nuclear as a low-carbon option. A lot of this I had heard before, but the author, Mark Diesendorf, clearly put a lot of research into compiling the numbers for that article.

If you look at the comments on that article, there are a lot of people also fairly derisive of nuclear. That is probably not a surprise when the site is primarily focused on Renewable Energy, and I found myself nodding along to some of it.

Thing is, I’m not anti-nuclear power. Not at all. I’m a Sci-Fi fan and in a lot of that material, there are nuclear reactors involved. Some of them are even man-portable reactors designed to power awesome stuff like exoskeletal armour, mecha, or spacecraft.

But we’re not talking about some kind of Iron man style weaponry or interplanetary exploration that people take for granted. We’re talking about boring old this:

No laser weapons or sexy, sexy aliens here, scifi fans… Credit: Wikipedia

The Basics of Nuclear Power

Similar to other thermal power stations like coal, we have a production facility generating heat, with turns water into steam and drives a turbine. This needs cooling towers to let the steam escape, and you can see a bunch of wires carrying the power away.

Where the nuclear power plant differs is that the fuel lasts longer. Rather than jamming coal in there regularly to keep the home fires burning, the uranium rods in the nuclear facility will last for years. Under a controlled nuclear reaction, the heat produced is what creates the steam to drive the turbines and crank out that sweet, sweet electricity.

And now you’ve probably just asked the question about how dangerous the radioactive material is, and you’re right. There are potential dangers in nuclear power that other power types don’t face.

The Wikipedia entry on the topic of nuclear power plants clearly outlines the dangers and controversies around nuclear power. I’ll let you read it there, but suffice to say nuclear power plants are large, complex bits of equipment. Humans are human. Accidents happen, if rarely.

Even when things are running well, and safety measures are stringent, you can have episodes like Fukushima, where Mother Nature had a hangover and tripped over the rug on her way to get more aspirin.

So, as far as places-to-avoid-human-error go, nuclear power plants are right up there. Throw in the production of weapons-grade radioactive material using nuclear power plants, and it looks a little scary.

Supporters will point out that there are nations around the world who use nuclear power like France (74%) quite happily, and other countries in Europe who have a high proportion of their electricity generated from nuclear power. They’re also right – carefully managed, nuclear is a great source of low-carbon power.

I say “low-carbon” because you still need to dig stuff up out of the ground. That is also true of solar panels (silicon and metals), wind farms (steel) and any form of energy generation you like. Everything has a price until we learn how to run things on our own sense of self-satisfaction like this guy (Simpsons fans know where its at).

There are also some options for progress in the nuclear power in terms of better reactors, like the Integral Fast Reactor (IFR). More efficient than traditional reactors, with less waste and fewer safety issues (including less weapons-grade material).

Yet, there isn’t a single commercial IFR operating in the world, due to cost, and a few red flags about safety that might actually be red herrings. For now at least, the IFR is the pipe dream for nuclear proponents.

Back on topic: so, I had a twitter discussion about nuclear power in general, versus renewable energy specifically. I found it stimulating and somewhat enlightening, via some links that were shared.

My adversary stated quite clearly he wasn’t anti-renewables, instead believing that renewables can’t provide all the power required in growing economies, and would need help in the form of stable, low-carbon nuclear.

The discussion finished amicably, and I went and did a bit of reading about nuclear power, particularly in Europe. After all that, I thought it best to document what nuclear power means to me, and how it compares to the renewable options in the current climate.

I was particularly interested to explore how I felt about it here in Australia, after some time to think.

Ayres Rock, Australia: A Kangaroo warning road sign in the desert near Uluru

It doesn’t all look like this, BTW… Credit: Fodors Travel

Nuclear Power Perspective

Let’s forget about the safety thing for a moment, and assume we’re pretty grouse at building and maintaining nuclear power plants. No worries, she’ll be right!

One of the primary drivers of change is economic. Fact.

People generally don’t stop doing a thing until another thing comes along that is better value for money, or at least drops into their available budget.

As a simple example, I remember when power windows were a luxury item on a car that I couldn’t afford. These days, not many production cars still have window winders – technology gets cheaper, more people adopt it, and it becomes commonplace.

Nuclear isn’t getting cheaper, at least not in terms of capital cost to establish. Nuclear power plants cost billions to set up, and with the recent accident at Fukushima, financiers are understandably nervous about pouring that sort of money in.

The European nuclear projects under construction are well over budget and running late. China is gearing up with more nuclear, but finance is never really a thing with them, and besides which they’re also sinking a whack of dosh into renewable energy development, while searching for answers to their fossil-fuel based pollution issues.

Once the nuclear plant comes online, it is actually a very cheap power source, but it still has to be subsidised heavily to pay interest on all those loans in the meantime, and over the lifetime of the facility.

In Australia, where the only reactor we have is for research and medical purposes, nuclear power has never really taken off for the reasons stated in that wiki link. This is another blow to the nuclear lobby, in that while we have oodles of “yellowcake” (uranium) in the ground, and space to build reactors, to do so is widely regarded as political suicide.

Mining of uranium in nature reserves and national parks, particularly areas under the guardianship of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, is a move that most politicians won’t countenance.

Perhaps that is more emotional than scientific, but if we’re looking to a more habitable planet, maybe we want to stop killing trees and such. Even if the longer term benefit is wiping out fossil fuel usage, what are we saving in that scenario?

In addition, centralised Nuclear power still suffers the same costs as coal for delivery. Poles and wires, substations, links in a chain that is infrastructure and therefore requires maintenance.

You could address some of that by building more power stations of smaller capacity in the appropriate areas, but then the cost per kWh rises due to base capital cost to build. Smaller does not always mean cheaper on a unit level, and you’re still required to get infrastructure built for users to get the power.

I still haven’t exactly dismissed nuclear as an option, but when you’re talking about the political and financial hurdles it faces in Australia, it looks like a very difficult climb. In a lot of ways, nuclear power has missed the window in Australia, and its hard to see how it can catch up.

This is particularly true when we look at the potential for renewable energy.

Renewable Energy

The fact is, renewable energy is getting cheaper, and more widespread, every day. Critics roundly mock the subsidies needed to establish “free” energy, while failing to look at their own backyard, often strewn with coal that the taxpayer funds.

Politically, fossil fuels are used as a battleground for jobs – particularly the mining industry – though I often wonder how many of those jobs are funded by the taxpayer, as a percentage. The mining magnates seem to fluctuate between reaping massive profits, or crying poor and sticking their hand out. Nice work if you can get it.

“Makes me money AND kills the environment – winning!” – (not) Gina Rinehart… Credit: Foxsports

In Australia, we’re seeing in increase of large scale solar farms, as well as wind farms. There is even some solar thermal around the place, while our wave power tech is getting noticed around the world.

Jeez we’ve got some smart units in this little nation.

So, with the price of solar panels dropping significantly as per Swanson’s Law, and other renewable energy efforts cranking up, we need to look ahead to the year 2020 in the shorter term, because the next step is just around the corner.

Storage has been given a shot in the arm with the announcement of Tesla Powerwall, and it has allowed many other players to stick their hand up and remind people they have battery systems, too.

The price of storage is also falling, and going to fall further. We’re talking about a multi-billion dollar industry that sits ready to launch in households across the world, not just Australia.

We’re best positioned to use it, because we have the sun, the high electricity prices, and the highest consumption of coal per capita in the world. Which is, quite frankly, awful. We need to have a look at ourselves…

We’ve got a population largely distributed along the coast, but also rural communities who struggle for services and maintenance of their power and communications networks, not to mention roads and transport infrastructure.

So its natural to start there, I reckon.

We already have people who live independent from the power grid, because they were faced with a location with no existing infrastructure. In some cases, the cost to run power would be hundreds of thousands of dollars, just for an individual home!

So we scale that up, like the moves to take suburbs or whole towns off the grid. This can also translate into backup power for towns at the end of the line, or in known trouble spots where natural hazards or aging equipment may cause issues.

The power sources can be any form of renewable energy, provided housing efficiency measures are put in place, along with battery storage of suitable size and chemistry. There will be teething issues, but these places stand to benefit the most in the shorter term.

The next step is to establish suburban micro-grids, using solar + storage in suburban areas, lowering the cost of infrastructure and maintenance longer term. Companies like Reposit Power are already looking into enabling this technology in Australia.

As an aside: I’m bemused that we don’t have a situation like San Francisco, where solar panels are now required by law on buildings 10 storeys or under.

With installers like Natural Solar getting into consumer-grade power storage for solar, this will snowball, and allow consumers to wrest back some of the control from the grid.

That is, of course, if “the grid” exists as more than a marginal concern for many users in these neighbourhoods of the future. The grid will likely become an enabler for local people to share a power community, all things going well. Perhaps even export their power if another grid needs it.

And traditional, centralised power? Delivering electricity from hundreds of kilometres away will have its place. For a time. In light of the adoption rates of storage, it cannot be otherwise.

However, in the wide brown land, with ample sunshine and inflated electricity pricing, it seems more likely that our independent streak will gradually wean us off big network power. As a primary feed, anyway.

Having a power station hundreds of kilometres away will seem ludicrous, when you can make your own right on your roof, or the guy down the street can do it for you.

The poles and wires of yesteryear will gradually be marginalised; a chorus line dancer grimacing out a smile, while the lead actors renewable energy and storage bow at the front of the stage.

Here in Australia, it probably won’t matter what is burning inside that power plant.

Coal is dying, while trying to take us all down with it.

Nuclear is the Delorean of our time – everyone knows its cool, and can do some great things. Its never going to appeal as a real option to more than its collection of fans, and with its inescapable history in Australia there for all to see, it won’t be able to get back to the future on current projections.

You don’t need to be a nuclear physicist to figure that out.

from https://www.sustainablefuturegroup.com.au/22/is-nuclear-power-glowing-or-just-green/ from https://sustainablfutg.tumblr.com/post/624511288876351488 from https://gracebolton.blogspot.com/2020/07/is-nuclear-power-glowing-or-just-green.html

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dailrpwmf-blog · 6 years ago

Text

I can’t find car insurance for under 5000?

I can t find car insurance for under 5000?

I m 17, and I understand my age is of course affecting the price of my car insurance, but I am getting 5000 quotes for a 1.0L Vauxhall Corsa 1998. I am expecting it to be high, but not that high for a crappy car. So could any one recommend any insurance company who will hopefully cut that down to 2000-3000?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSURANCECOMPAREQUOTES.US

SOURCES:

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buddiebeginz · 6 years ago

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Finally caught up on Emmerdale so here’s some thoughts on the recent episodes (if anyone cares 😝).

---Rob & Nicola / Home Farm junk

I’m seriously not a fan of what they’re doing with Rob right now. Ryan in my opinion is one of the most talented actors on the show and Rob is one of the best characters. Rob was born on the show and has a long varied history with many avenues the show could take his character down so it really baffles me why it feels like we’re living 2017 all over again in some ways. Why of all the storylines they could give Rob they continue to keep him shackled to Home Farm scheming to get an old drunk man to sign over a business and swindle him out of money. I feel like I’m the one living a groundhog day version of Emmerdale instead of Rob.

I know Rob as a character can get into trouble and he likes making money so I’m not saying I want him to do some magical 180 and totally change who he is, in fact I enjoy it when he’s scheming and being a smug little bastard but I do think given all he’s been through in the past couple of years they could show some growth for him where Home Farm is concerned. Seeing him scheme with Nicola to get the business from a drunk Graham almost feels like nothing’s changed with Rob since last year and he has changed a lot. Why does he need to do that to make money? Wouldn’t it be more interesting to show Rob a character who has often schemed and smooth talked his way up the ladder to build his own business?

I also feel like the show thinks Graham and Kim are far more interesting than they are which is why they think this storyline holds water. I was interested when it seemed like we were going to get a Joe vs Rob/Robron storyline. But Graham’s character is so annoyingly boring right now all he does he mope around and drink and I’m sorry I’m never going to feel bad for him when he was planning on killing Joe himself. I also think even with all the history Kim Tate has the show has done a poor job of bringing her back. I know I didn’t watch the show when she was on before but I wasn’t impressed with her reemergence during SSW. Plus they made this whole big deal about her getting out jail and how she was coming back only for her to leave again and now she’s apparently coming back from jail again. It’s so messy. My point with all this is ED wants us to be excited at this show down between Rob and Nicola vs Kim and Graham that’s supposedly coming when she gets back but I’m just not. I feel like most of the stuff they’ve done with both Rob and Robron this year has been lackluster and if this is supposed to be Rob’s big story going into the new year it just leaves me feeling disappointed.

Oh yeah btw I really hated Nicola’s line of “He was going to ply you with that before having his way with you” in reference to Rob getting Graham drunk. I swear the show sometime just wants to make fun of what happened last year. I just found is so offensive given what they allowed to happen with Rob and Rebecca and then that awful slap in the face storyline with Lawrence and Rob.

I feel like we haven’t gotten to see much of Priya working for Home Farm and now Nicola is going to be working up there so I’m hoping Priya will still get some focus. I’m still bummed we didn’t get to see her and Joe end up together so many interesting storylines wasted. -_-

---Robron

I’m really tired of every single time we see Robron their convos being about Seb and or babies. Hello Emmerdale writers they can talk about other things you know.

As much as I want Robron to have kids that are theirs together I continue to feel let down by this surrogacy storyline. I mean now it’s connected to this stupid Home Farm stuff. Like they can’t have kids unless Rob gets the money from Home Farm it just leaves it feeling so tainted for me. I mean Rob only came home and decided he wanted to have kids with Aaron around the same time he decided to plot all this stuff with Nicola so it’s like he only wants to go down the surrogacy route so he has a reason to get Aaron off his back about it all. I know that’s not the reason but the writing is sloppy and it makes Rob look like an ass as has most of this stuff like Rob not explaining why he didn’t want to have kids in the first place.

It just feels like Rob isn’t even really invested in this whole kids thing. Mainly because any of the times I’ve wished to see more about how Aaron and Rob have felt about it all like why they want to kids or why Rob didn’t want to it’s all been rushed and glossed over. I know a lot of people in fandom care about Robron storylines no matter what is going like if Emmerdale says Robron most people are like sign me up but I don’t operate that way. The show needs to put the effort in and show they care or else I’m not going to. For a while now it’s felt like they’re just phoning it in when it comes to Robron which makes me feel a lot less inclined to care about what’s going on with them. I love Robron and I always will I just don’t like how they show is writing for them at the moment.

I’m also so over Rob being blamed for everything that happened to the Whites, I mean now they have Aaron telling Rob it was his fault what happened to Chrissie and Lawrence. Everyone points out that if Rob hadn’t stolen Seb the accident wouldn’t have happened well in the first place Rebecca didn’t have a right to leave the country with Seb. Secondly I 100% believe that if Rob didn’t take Seb out of the car Lachlan would still have caused an accident or done something else and maybe Seb would also have died. His anger had nothing to do with Rob it was with Chrissie and what she did to his relationship to Belle at the time. The accident was NOT Rob’s fault and it’s bs that the show keeps blaming him for it. I swear the White’s never take the blame for anything even a deranged serial killer like Lachlan.

And there’s the other point that I will continue to talk about no matter how much fandom pretends like it’s not true. There is a difference in the way Robron are allowed to be a couple vs the straight couples. Rob and Aaron hardly ever kiss I mean they don’t even kiss when they’ve missed each other and come home from being away (like when Aaron came back last week) yet Pete and Rhona (and other couples) get scenes like this:

Fandom can continue to pretend that Robron are not being treated differently or be happy with just the bare minimum of physical affection they allot them but I won’t. Emmerdale gets a lot of millage out of just having lgbtq characters and couples on the show without thinking they need to put the effort into representing them as accurately as they do the straight couples. Robron deserve to have more than just the occasional bro hug, they deserve to have an actual sex life, and they deserve to have intimacy like a “normal” couple.

---Rhona/Pete/Dawn

Where do I even begin with this storyline. In the first place I don’t get why the show is bringing back Dawn she feels like such a pointless character one we’ve seen a million times on the show. Right off the bat she reminds me a lot of Nell from last year also an older version of Beth. If the show wanted a character like that it would have been a million times more interesting for them to bring back one of those characters than the nothing character that is Dawn.

Another issue I have with this storyline is it feels like Emmerdale is trying to show how it’s important to help those who are struggling. I even saw people on twitter talk about how they were grateful that Emmerdale is showing a storyline about a homeless person and people helping her. Here’s my problem with all of that though. In the first place Dawn isn’t just a homeless person in need of somewhere to live she’s a drug addict, who works as a prostitute, and has spent her time around violent criminals. She’s not just some random homeless woman in need of refugee helping her (to the extend Rhona is) could be dangerous.

Even knowing this woman broke into Ross’ house and even with Pete trying to tell Rhona what went on with Dawn, how in part because of her Pete got beat beat up Rhona still let this woman sleep in her house. A house where her mentally disabled son lives. I know Rhona has a history with drugs herself so I’m sure she sees a part of herself in Dawn but for her to put a woman she barely knows above the safety of her son and the respect and feelings of the man she’s living with is messed up.

Rhona doesn’t know Dawn at all and she kept acting like Pete was being an unreasonable douchebag. Even if Pete was overreacting (he wasn’t) she still could have asked him how he felt about her bringing Dawn there for the night considering Pete lives there (as far as I know). Also Pete has obviously had more to do with Dawn than Rhona so why did she care so little to hear what Pete had to say about her? Rhona even used Holly as a way to get Pete to cave and help her and btw I’m seriously sick of this show only bringing up Holly when it comes to drugs.

I just find this whole storyline ignorant especially with the things people are saying about it online. You can’t and shouldn’t just take any random homeless person off the street and bring them into your home no matter how much you want to help someone. There’s other things you can do that don’t put you and your family at risk and that’s exactly what Rhona was doing.

I also can’t believe Dawn gets to live rent free at Ross’ old place now. So I guess the message is just break into places whenever you want and someone might give you the whole house for nothing. I’m confused what Emmerdale uses to help them decide what characters stay and go. Instead of keeping one of their best newer characters like Gerry or even Misty who wasn’t that bad after a while we get Dawn another Nell knock off.

---Tracy/Rodney

I know Tracy and Rodney are working together now but I wish she would have called him out over deliberately screwing with her pizza order. I also think he’s going to continue to screw with her business because he’s jealous. As much as it’s nice to see Tracy involved in new stuff I still wish they would have let her explore her writing again. I mean even if the 50 Shades knock off book she put out wasn’t that great she could have done something else. It’s obvious she liked doing it.

I have this feeling that the show is going to put Brenda and Rodney (back?) together at some point. Could be wrong but just a feeling I had. Also think they might make Brenda sick again.

Brenda acts like she never does anything wrong. Like when she freaked out and kicked Daz out and then her saying she couldn’t trust Tracy anymore. Like hello Brenda you’re the same person who stole a woman’s credit card and ordered a bunch of stuff.

---Chas/Paddy

I’ve never been a fan of Chas and Paddy as a couple so I’ve just been waiting for Emmerdale to hurry up and move this storyline along. I don’t like how everyone feels like they have to tiptoe around Chas and Paddy not because of the Grace stuff but mostly because of their relationship. Like I know they’ve been through a lot but they’re also two grown adults who live and work around other adults they can’t just take their issues out on other people. It’s not okay for them to make everyone else feel uncomfortable or like they can’t even stand in the same room with them because they’re struggling.

I know Lydia’s heart was in the right place but she’s nosy af sometimes and the way she always butts into other peoples business drives me crazy.

I know Chas has gone through and is still going through a lot but I just don’t feel like she’s being fair to Paddy. Everyone grieves differently and just because he’s feeling numb doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I also think it’s unfair for her to lash out at him so much when she hasn’t even been willing to communicate with him how she’s really been feeling. I mean Paddy hasn’t done the best with communicating either but I think he would have tried to listen if Chas said she felt shut out. Paddy took the time to confide in her and tell her how he was really feeling after Grace’s death and she just threw that in his face acting like he didn’t care. If he truly felt nothing he wouldn’t be so shut down as he was he’s been suffering too and she’s just been too caught up in her own pain to notice.

I knew when Eric said that he and his first wife ended up hating each other that Chas was going to break up with Paddy and honestly I’m glad. The whole thing has been kind of torturous to watch. I mean the actors are doing a great job but I just want the storyline to move forward. I still wonder if when Mandy comes back Paddy will find out he has a kid and what that will do to him and Chas having any kind of relationship friendship or otherwise going forward.

---Frank/Megan/Etc

I really didn’t like how the show chose to talk about minimum wage work this week. Multiple times there were comments made about the factory work that Frank does and how it’s a nothing worthless kind of job. There have also been comments in the past to that effect as well. Frank said something about being stressed and Megan said “your work isn’t stressful” as if people who work menial labor jobs don’t get stressed.😒

Lord Leyla called herself Melania Trump. Do a lot of people in the UK actually like Trump or something? Please for the love of god no.

#rr*#negativity #rr112118 #rr112218 #rr112318

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